Participating in a generation that has predominantly been taught to value independence, personal achievement, and professional success, among other things, has shaped women to slowly attain these goals. However, even though this was embraced decades ago, the environment has yet to adapt to these changes.

Throughout my youth, I was sure of the path I should pursue and everything I needed to strive for. I had references to movie characters that taught me how to reach Vogue or, at the very least, have a career that would provide the means to buy what is advertised in the magazine. I had read numerous books that showed me the possibilities in life, and I even knew people who seemed to have crossed the finish line.

The beginning of adulthood was more chaotic and exhilarating than I imagined. In an instant, all certainty crumbled, and a new range of possibilities was exposed. From that moment on, I understood that I could tell my story and had more autonomy to follow my desired path. Surprisingly, all those references that were foundations for me in adolescence no longer made sense.

Years passed, and things changed. The questions shifted, demands arose, and more than ever, the choices became entirely mine. The word responsibility transformed into well-being, and planning became synonymous with inner peace. I questioned whether I had become more conservative or simply cautious. Regardless of the answer, I aligned myself with my body and realized the great value of a good night’s sleep.

Beyond the natural changes, I encountered desires that did not belong to me. Even though I turned off the path I had imagined, I reached a point where personal worth began to be measured not only by professional achievements but also by sentimental ones. A new urgency emerged, and without realizing it, childhood dreams had to make room for others as time kept passing and did not wait for anyone.

Suddenly, I started hearing questions that were never asked before. I realized that expenses are better distributed when shared, and I even thought about motherhood, a matter that seemed so distant yesterday. I admitted that everything changes, even when one decides to remain static.

I confess that for some time, I fell into the trap and convinced myself, through dubious logic, that if I didn’t invest energy into finding someone, my future was condemned to a solitary life. As dramatic as it may sound, it stands true. And the most problematic part is that this came from somewhere other than within.

After realizing that I was chasing other people’s expectations or conforming to a standard absent from my personal development, I looked at my despair and questioned where it came from. After all, it did not only belong to me but notably to women in general.

Beyond the archaic values that society still embraces, women are still heavily influenced by the idea that life will only have meaning if they find someone to complete them. Despite being taught to pursue their dreams, there have never been tools to assist in this process. I trust this frustration exists because we are still caught between distinct moments as if one foot is in the past and the other is in the future.

As for the despair, I noticed it grew out of a moment of vulnerability. Realizing that all those goals I once set for myself had yet to be achieved, I decided to take the shortest route and seek out some sense of accomplishment. However, I hit a wall when I realized I was in the wrong place. Each person has a unique journey, and it is not worth forcing a situation to achieve a faster result.

The greatest lesson I learned from this is that things require time and preparation. Whatever comes in a rush will leave with the same intensity. Opting for shortcuts simply discards the learning that needs to be experienced to be ready for what you deserve. And if you have yet to find it, it’s because you’re not prepared.

When I realized I was burdening myself with a weight that did not belong to me, I decided to be more gentle with myself and embrace what brings me joy. Without grand objectives and with much less pressure, I returned to living one day at a time and set fewer goals and more tangible targets.

Beyond the greater satisfaction of being more present in my surroundings, I could reconnect with what I truly enjoyed. This process of cooling off led me to an epiphany. Unexpectedly, I realized that I had found the tools to live the life I wanted.

A.M.