Every day, we are often guided and dictated by the hours. From the alarm clock to the disappointment of realising it is too late to watch another episode of the new series, we rely on the clock’s ticking. Counting how many times an individual checks the time is almost impossible, yet these numbers hold little meaning.

When the last day of the year arrives, time takes on a different definition. The transition from one year to another brings a new perspective, the hope that everything can be different and that one chapter is closing while another begins. In a fraction of time, we reflect on our mistakes and successes, the events and non-events, what we carry with us and what needs to be left behind.

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Inevitably, as the year approached its end, I began to ponder what the next step would be. What did I desire for this new phase, what did I want to continue, and what would let go? With those questions, I revisited the memories of the twelve months that had passed. I remembered the places I visited, the dreams I fulfilled, and the people I met.

Living in another country was not new to me, but challenges would be faced regardless of familiarity. Unlike my first experience, moving to Portugal made me look inward and reflect on things I never had the opportunity or time to do. The beginning was complicated, making me question my significance in the world and confront loneliness. At that moment, I realised I had two choices: to delve into the depths of my being or to stay in the shallows. Still unsure whether it was a choice or circumstance, I plunged into my deepest waters. Today, I can tell that living through moments of silence and connecting with my inner self has taught me that everything I need is already within me.

Among the ups and downs of this personal journey, I also allowed myself to experience the other. The attraction, the involvement, the intimacy, the emotions, and the abandonment. Without noticing it, I could connect with different people in unique ways. I discovered new forms of love and that not every story needs a happy conclusion. The moment is more important than the narrative, and the pleasure of encounters lies in getting to know the difference and recognising oneself in someone else.

The year passed by quickly, but many things were also lived. When I think about the following year, I can only envision a blank page ready to receive new stories. This time, I want to go with more dreams and fewer expectations. To believe that anything is possible for those who believe, but to also understand that what we want is not always what we need.

Every day, we are guided and often dictated by the hours. From the alarm clock to bedtime. Nevertheless, these numbers often mean nothing. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that the best things happen when we lose track of time.

A.M.