When deciding to move abroad, leaving the people you love behind is one of the most challenging parts, if not the most difficult. Nowadays, we have the advantage of being able to easily communicate through messages and videos, which significantly facilitates contact with those who are not around. However, time zones, lack of physical contact, and routine always get in the way.

It had already been a few months since I had moved to Porto, and with so many new things, classes, and busy days, some of my contacts from Brazil were becoming more distant. I knew this would happen organically, as I had gone through this separation experience before and had already created tools to deal with the situation. Or at least that’s what I thought.

On a sunny Saturday, I wanted to spend the whole day in bed. The week had flown by, and I was still recovering from everything I had done. I tried to neglect all the tasks I had to do that day and just chose to watch the series I was completely addicted to. Eventually, my stomach started growling with hunger, and I was forced to get up and prepare something to eat. Without surprise, I opened the empty cupboard. I realized I had let the shopping go beyond the limit, once again obliging myself to react and move on with the list of things I had for that day.

Porto has several supermarket brands, but like everything on this land, you must choose your favourite and stick to it. I confess I didn’t take this too seriously, but I always preferred to go to Pingo Doce, simply because it was two blocks from my house. With a bare face and the most antisocial clothes possible, I had to choose the fruits and vegetables for the week. As I passed through the checkout, I felt my phone vibrate and noticed that someone was calling me. It was Victoria.

Victoria and I met during the chaos. Unlike most of my friendships, we didn’t meet in school or through work but connected in a mature phase. At the time, it had only been a few weeks since I had returned to Brazil due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and the last thing I wanted was to meet new people. However, it was through Laura that I was introduced to the woman who is 1.75 meters tall and has the most striking personality and eyebrows in the world.

Creating affinity with someone in adulthood is more challenging than it seems. Unlike when you are young, you don’t have to have common interests to like the other person. Much more complex than that, you learn to look at the character and small gestures and to value a spontaneous attitude more than a favourite band. When I think about what Victoria and I have in common, it is much simpler to find similarities in how we see the world than in mundane things.

Concerned about the call, I put the shopping bags away and returned the call as soon as I left the market. She answered on the first ring:

– Hi, is everything okay? — I asked with a smile.

– Hi friend. Sort of. Do you have time? — Victoria replied in a low voice, and I knew a bomb was about to be dropped.

– Of course, Vic, I’m going home now. You can talk… — I replied, supporting the cell phone between my ear and shoulder, balancing three bags on my shoulders and arms.

– Sorry for calling you like this, but I need to vent something to you. — She paused. — Do you remember André?

– Who? — I had no idea who the guy was.

– André, my ex-boyfriend, fling… whatever he was.

– Ahh, yes! The fool. — Since Victória and he had broken up, it was impossible not to call him by the nickname that Laura had affectionately given him.

– We went out yesterday.

– WHAT? — The bag on my right arm dropped on the sidewalk in front of my house. — What do you mean?

– I don’t know. He had been sending me messages for a while, and then, in one of our conversations, he said he missed me and asked if we could see each other…

– You guys were exchanging messages? — I interrupted her. — Since when?

– A few weeks, but I only did it to feed my ego. After all this time, I thought I had control of the situation.

– Vic, I don’t think it works like that.

– It doesn’t, babe! Of course, it doesn’t. — She said with regret — It was horrible. I went on this stupid date, and he made me feel even worse. He compared me to his ex, said he should have never left me and even confessed between the lines that he had cheated on me with her! — Vic composed herself. — It was the stupidest thing I could have done. I feel like trash.

– Wait, you don’t have to feel bad because he’s a jerk.

– I know. I blame myself for putting myself in this situation. I don’t know what I was thinking. — For some people, Victoria may seem harsh, but I always saw her demeanour as an intrinsic honesty. She would never spare you from telling the truth, but because she never spared herself from it either. — Sorry, I didn’t want to burden you with this. I don’t feel like hearing what I already know.

– You? The most giant judge of the whole group. — She laughed, and I could sense relief. — Relax, I won’t tell anyone.

– Please, don’t write about it on your blog — she said, laughing.

– Never! — I replied.

Victoria and I talked on the phone for a few hours. Even though several months had passed, we were meeting up after work and talking about everything that had happened since the last time we went out. She asked me how my life was in Porto, my classes, if I was seeing anyone, and, as always, fed my delusional ideas and scolded me when I started to become dramatic. Victoria told me about her job, her long-awaited graduation, and other things that made me laugh and feel like myself talking to her.

After I had put away the shopping, cleaned the kitchen, and prepared my lunch, we agreed that the information had been updated.

– Babe, I miss our conversations at Caracol until 2 in the morning. — I said before Vic said goodbye.

– What a lie! — She said seriously — Since when did we ever go home before 5 in the morning? — And I could hear her sarcastic tone.

– Take care, okay?

– I’ll try. Kisses! — Vic hung up.

As I rested my phone on the table, I visualized myself sitting with the plate in front of me. The kitchen became silent again. I felt a slight ache in my chest, almost like a pinch. I just wanted Victoria to be there at that moment. After lunch, we would probably decide to buy some wine to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and criticize each contestant as if we once had the potential to be a drag.

I reflected on what I would do that day. I decided to return to the original plan and do absolutely nothing. Although I had college papers to write, work emails to respond to, and household tasks, I would dedicate that day to Vic and celebrate it the way she liked it most: horizontally.

Living in another country has its challenges. You have to get used to other people and customs. You will often question why you are there and whether you made the right decision. You will miss many things and important moments of the people you love. However, there is one thing I have learned through my friendships. In that case, no matter the time or distance, when a person is worth it, they are there learning with you, running with you, and I always thank them for having found them.

A.M.