At first glance, Porto may seem too peaceful to entertain. Unlike metropolises, some streets can be quiet or almost deserted, but it is precisely in these places that you may find yourself pleasantly surprised. You must give it a chance and discover what lies beyond that door.

It was already past five in the evening when Giovanni and I decided to go out for a drink. It was only Tuesday, but we were prepared to do our weekly check and note everything that had happened since the last time we saw each other. That night, we decided to meet in Cedofeita Street and decide what to do from there. Avoiding the usual places, we chose to wander.

From our first conversation, I knew Giovanni and I would become good friends. Perhaps his laid-back personality or unbeatable party stories at Zoom confirmed that we both lived life at a chaotic pace. Giovanni was sweet and kind-hearted but also vulnerable and indecisive at times, which always had me questioning if I have some karma with people of the Libra sign.

Walking near Bolhão, Giovanni remembered a bar he had visited some time ago and asked if I knew it. I had no idea where it was, so we decided to go there. Letraria is a craft beer bar that assigns each different type of beer a letter of the alphabet. We entered the space with only one counter and two empty tables. The bartender asked if we knew the place and handed us cards to place orders. Without understanding why such a small place would require order cards, I accepted and accompanied Giovanni.

We descended ten steps and turned right, then spotted several more tables and another counter with numerous taps scattered on the wall. I continued to follow Giovanni, who crossed a door, and I understood the importance of order cards there. Behind all the structures was an immense garden full of trees and enclosures that maintained different plants, flowers, and vegetables. We chose a table near a deactivated fountain and sat down to choose our beers. As it was my first time, I started with A, a Blonde Ale that seemed to have the lowest alcohol content.

Giovanni fetched the first round, and we cheered.

“So, what’s new?” I said as I took a sip of my beer.

“Am I starting this time?” Giovanni asked, and I nodded. “Well, nothing much at work and nothing much in terms of my horoscope. But I’m intrigued by something that happened last Sunday…”

I fixed my gaze on him, urging him to continue.

“You know that Spanish guy I met some time ago?” he asked, and unsure if I remembered, I nodded to avoid interrupting his story. “Well, he’s a curator at an art gallery here in Porto, and this Sunday was the opening of the new exhibition he’s responsible for.”

“Wow, he’s quite something,” I responded, admiring my friend’s good taste.

“Yeah, he is,” Giovanni said. “This opening was a cocktail party to receive some important people in the art world involved in the project.” Giovanni paused. “As he mentioned several times, he invited me to attend and check out the artist’s work.”

“And did you accept?” I asked, squinting my eyes.

“Oh, yes, babe. It was cool that he invited me to learn more about his work.”

“But do you know anything about art?”

“Absolutely nothing,” we laughed together.

“Anyway,” Giovanni continued, “When I got there, I was surprised by the number of people present. When I saw him, I noticed he was talking with two other women, so I waved from afar.” Pause. “When he saw me, he gestured for me to come closer, and before even introducing me to the people around him, he kissed me.”

“What?” I responded, surprised.

“Yes, friend!”

“No way! How many times have you seen each other to date?”

“Counting this day three times.”

“Oh, I don’t want to be that person, but I think I have to inform you that he’s not interested in you as a casual fling.”

“Friend, that’s the thing. That night, I could already imagine myself in a relationship with him. The way he conducted the night, I could even say that we looked like we had been in a relationship for many months. However, after Sunday, things are still the same. I don’t feel that he wants something serious.”

“Wait. What do you mean?” I asked, confused. “What he did at the gallery is a sign that he sees you as something serious. No one kisses a date in front of a boss.”

“That’s exactly what’s puzzling me,” Giovanni and I both took a sip of our beers, trying to find logic in such a strange situation.

We remained silent for a few more seconds until I started to analyse the situation.

“Is it possible that he wanted to validate himself socially by kissing you?” I launched the question like a jet to speed things up and make it less accurate.

“In the sense of being socially accepted by being with someone?” Unfortunately, Giovanni understood every word.

“Yes,” I replied regretfully.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” I wouldn’t forgive myself if Giovanni became sad because of my assumption. “But that makes so much sense!”

“Does it?” I didn’t want it to.

“Yes,” he replied. “Especially since it was noticeable that those people were already settled in their lives regarding relationships, and he, well… He’s already going towards his 43s and told me that he has never been with someone for more than a few months.”

After that comment, Giovanni and I let the conversation flow to other topics. After a few hours, Gio and I said goodbye, and I thanked him for the night and the various letters we drank.

On the way home, I couldn’t help thinking about our conversation. Does being in a relationship validate us socially? And if so, do many people stay together because being single can discredit who they are?

Later that night, Andrew called me as usual after leaving work. He told me he had started seeing a guy who influenced the fashion industry and that he might be invited to an after-party at London Fashion Week. I told him about my night with Giovanni and asked for his opinion.

“Of course, many people use a relationship to be accepted. Having a successful career, a wonderful bank account, and a perfect body is not enough. If you’re single, society will always look at you with pity for not having found someone yet, or they will think you have a dysfunction,” Andrew’s directness no longer surprised me.

“Do you believe many couples are only together because of social pressure?”

“Yes,” he responded, “But don’t create paranoia, my dear. Many people don’t even think about it. They follow what’s been said to them. Besides, have you ever questioned why the alphabet has that order?”

“Okay, I get it.”

Later that night, I reflected on what I genuinely wanted for myself. I made a sincere list of what I desired for my future and questioned whether it came from within or from an assumption of what was ideal for me. I looked at my empty bed and realised that I didn’t feel the need to fill that space. The truth is, I never thought about being with someone to feel complete or belonging to something. However, if someone were ever there, I would be sure it was my choice.

A.M.